Hello 2017

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I am not going to lie- there was a large amount of time that I honestly forgot that I had a blog.  Since the last time I blogged A LOT has changed in my life- and I like to think that it has changed for the better.

I am now 28 years old, I live with my boyfriend of over 2 years, I still work at the same place in Pullman, WA, and I have FINALLY completed my Master’s degree! ( I will walk in May and receive my degree then- even though all the work is done).  One thing that has stayed constant through all of the elapsed time is that I am still on my health journey.

Since April 2015 (the last time I posted) I have lost about 30 more pounds, and have gained about 10 of it back. I can comfortably say that I have lost 75 pounds total on my health journey so far, and I have big goals for 2017 to finally hit my goal weight. I have about 35 pounds to go until I reach my goal weight. Another part of my health journey that has become a very important part of who I am is that I am now a runner! I used to be the person that despised running and had no idea how or why people would want to run or actually be able to do it successfully. Well, here I am with 1 half marathon under my belt- and I am training for my second half marathon that is in less than 5 weeks!!

Running has become a very important part of my life and it helps me feel empowered and strong.  As far as my self love, body image, and weight loss I am still using weight watchers.  I have tried many things here and there, but Weight Watchers is what I always come back to and I am in it to win it so to speak. Weight Watchers helps me stay accountable with what I am eating and how I am fueling my body.  I am focusing on the long haul for 2017 and since I have less weight to lose now. It is going to take even more time and dedication to reach my goal weight.

My intention is to blog regularly here again and use it as a way to update you all on my progress, how things are going with running, and even share some meal recipes that I have tried and like.  While I did not fully enjoy the whole process of writing my thesis, I have to say that I miss writing a little bit, so this is a fun way for me to reflect and write to stay accountable to my journey.

Since so much has changed in almost two years I have included some pictures as well!

Happy Sunday, and I hope everyone has a great week!

 

 

You Can’t Out-Exercise a Bad Diet

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This is a statement that I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about lately:

You can’t out-exercise a bad diet.

For the longest time, I had it backwards in my head. I thought that I could “cheat” almost every day, or multiple times a day because of how much I exercise. I would let my thoughts take over in my times of stress and anxiety; “you deserve this because you did ______ today.” Or “you have so many activity points, you can splurge on _________”. 

It has taken me MONTHS to finally snap out of my thoughts about bad food and wake up to realize that these same thoughts are what have kept me so stagnant in my weight loss journey. I feel that I am truly to the point where I don’t want to make excuses for myself anymore. I am finally to the point where I am really ready to further progress on my healthy lifestyle and weight loss journey.

I am writing this today to affirm my need for food to match my lifestyle that is full of exercise and health. I deserve to fill my body with healthy food to properly fuel my exercise and fitness efforts. By refocusing my energy on eating a balanced diet and mindfully moderating my sweets and indulgences, I will finally see the progress that I want to see (again). My body doesn’t deserve to feel sick when exercising because of salty, sweet, or carb-heavy foods. My body doesn’t deserve to be challenged while exercising because of how crappy I feel on the inside from a poor diet.

I have been on this journey for well over a year and I have no intention of quitting or changing my thought process anytime soon. If anything, I feel that the upcoming growing season and months of farmers markets will help re-inspire my healthy cooking and creativity in the kitchen. May can’t come soon enough so I can turn every farmers market Saturday into a new cooking adventure.

While I am not perfect, and have my fair share of slip ups, I owe it to myself to be honest and never give up on trying harder than I did the day before.   I have had the best month that I’ve had on my journey in a long time, and I am officially at my lowest weight since starting weight watchers again in January 2014. I am very close to my 55 pound milestone, and I hope to share that all with you when it happens (I am confident that will be in the coming weeks- or sooner!) 🙂

Thanks for reading, and I hope that you’re enjoying your spring. I find it a motivating time to reflect on the past winter and look forward to warm weather, fresh fruit and veggies, and Birkenstocks 😉 🙂

Until next time,

Kassi

A picture is worth a thousand words

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When I was scrolling through my pictures the other day, I noticed the date on my beginning photo. It was dated January 19th, 2013. A few days ago I decided I wanted to take pictures today to truly see 365 days of progress in the making. I am sharing these photos today to re inspire myself to keep on with this journey. My body has changed so much in the last year and when I look at myself in the mirror every day it’s really hard to see how these small changes have added up to big results.

I have worked really hard this last week to harness the Kassi that I was when I started this journey. That Kassi was unstoppable. I worked really hard to track all of my food this week and not go negative points. I made this a goal and because of that goal it completely changed some of my food decisions I was about to make. This week paid off because I lost 4.4 pounds and I am almost back to where I was before my birthday! I am going to keep going strong with tracking honestly and not going negative points!

Thank you for all of your support, and keep up the good fight towards a healthier you!

Leave The Gym Resolutioners Alone

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Very good point. I think it serves as a good reminder to not pass judgement and focus on yourself. You can’t compare your journey to any one else’s, so be happy that there are so many more people working out right now!

Sass & Balderdash

We’ve all seen them. There could be one next to you right now on the treadmill holding on for dear life and hiking up a level 15 incline. You may have spotted one inquisitively eying a BOSU ball, wondering what manner of cruel and unusual punishment a semi-circle could possibly deliver. They’re the Resolutioners who have taken your gym by storm this January to get started on their weight loss and fitness goals, and they haven’t received the warmest of welcomes.

I used to be a Resolutioner. In fact, I can say with confidence that “losing weight” or “eating better” was probably my staple resolution from the year 2003 through 2011. When it comes to my New Year’s resolutions, it was probably only surpassed in frequency by “This year I’m going to have a boyfriend,” or “This year I’m committing to not being so quiet and weird.”

I never stuck to it. I’d show up to the…

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**Insert Super Motivational & Inspirational Title Here** … How has it already been a year??

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It feels like the year has flown by.

But… when I look back, it feels like it has taken so much time for me to get where I am today.

Before I started writing any of this I read through most of my old blog posts. I am blown away with some of the words that came out of me in the last year, and to be honest: I want to find that Kassi again. When I read my posts from last January and February I had a fire lit under me and burning within me to no longer be the unhealthy Kassi that I had let myself become.

I wrote like it was so easy to stay on plan and say no to bad food; OR say yes, but only indulge a little bit. Oh… how times have shifted.  Yes, I still am on my journey and I still have days where I’m really good at saying no… but the truth is: I have grown comfortable. By growing comfortable, I have let bits and pieces of the old Kassi’s eating habits and negative self talk have a place at the table again. Over the last few weeks especially I have allowed myself to be nasty in my head, and out loud.  This is where I have to pause and really think about that statement. I have let my negative talk get to a point where other people are noticing and saying things.  To explain:

Someone that I work with put it into perspective the other day for me. I was calling myself a “fatty” because at lunch time I was off campus and I allowed myself to eat a panini, chips, and two jumbo cookies even though I had a packed lunch waiting for me once I got back to work. He said, “just because you ate some bad food doesn’t mean you are a fatty OR make you a fatty. Sure, you can feel regret for making that decision, but it doesn’t make you a fatty. You need to stop using language like that, and start being positive towards yourself”. (He said something along those lines.. I am drawing on a conversation a few days ago) .

My take away from that short conversation is that HE IS RIGHT. I am not a fatty. I am a young woman who has used food her whole life for comfort, and I am trying as hard as I can to overcome those emotional eating habits.  Eleven and twelve months ago I was so critical of my hunger and whether it was true hunger or my ’emotional hunger’ craving attention.

I need to remind myself that I can control my emotional hunger and not give into it. I need to stick to the weight watchers plan because it works. A member a long time ago said, “when you kinda work the plan.. it kinda works.” Well, that’s my plan because I’m in this for the long haul.  I am in this to prove to myself that I can look.. exactly how I FEEL on the inside.  I need to remember that I don’t feel deprived when I stick to the plan, instead I feel motivated, in control, and pleasantly satisfied. I have been working this week on tracking HONESTLY. So far so good. I want to get back to good habits and that is one that I need to get in check.

On another note. I think that subconciously I am holding myself back… I have been thinking a lot lately about how scared & apprehensive I am to reach my goal. I have been overweight and big ever since I hit puberty. I don’t know what I will LOOK like when I reach my goal (still don’t know exactly what that is yet..) I don’t know if I will feel comfortable when I reach my goal. I don’t know if I will have a ton of extra skin because of how overweight I was for so long.  These are all things that live deep in my thoughts and I don’t let escape that often.  With every pound I lose, the closer to the forefront these thoughts become.  I am really hoping that blogging and conversing with friends & family over the next year (or more) will help me view these thoughts differently.

What I do know is that I want to redirect my thoughts and feelings towards how I will FEEL when I am at my goal. I really want to feel strong, healthy, and in control of my life. These are the positive thoughts that I am working on exuding and believing in for the rest of my life.

Anyway, cheers to everyone for following me for a year. I would really like to post more often… but life happens, and this takes a lot of dedication some times. hehehhh. Just like healthy habits take a lot of dedication.

Send me some positive thoughts, and I hope for positive thoughts for you as well.

-Kassi

Ps. I gained 6.8 pounds over the holiday season, and I am working on losing those pounds and more over the next month.

PPS. Shout out to MIKEY!

Reflecting on How Far I’ve Come. (49.4 Pounds Down!)

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I am Captain Obvious by stating that I have not blogged in awhile. I think that it is fairly obvious that I haven’t.  Well, I have been thinking a lot lately about where I started and how far I have come on my weight loss journey in almost 11 months. First off, 11 months is a really long time. In the past when I would decide that I wanted to lose weight, the longest I lasted was a few weeks or months at best.  I think that I’ve seen so much success because no matter what has happened, I have never decided to stop doing weight watchers or to stop working out altogether. I am incredibly proud of myself for sticking it out.  Yes, I’ve had some difficult weeks, and even the last month has been a big challenge; but I have carried on and continued with the program even with gains or mental games that I have played with myself.

In 11 months I have learned that I actually do prefer healthy food. I have noticed that when I don’t eat my fruits and veggies or drink my water, that I feel really, really bad.  I feel lethargic and sick from the inside out.  Looking back to last year that’s how I constantly felt, and I just thought that it was normal to feel like that. Now I know that it is NOT normal, and that in fact you can truly control how your body FEELS even if in your head you aren’t happy with how your body LOOKS.

In 11 months I’ve learned how hard it can be to truly love yourself and not beat yourself up all the time. I think this is one of the hardest things for me, and I still struggle with it all the time. In order to be happy and healthy you have to have a healthy mind and a healthy viewpoint of yourself.  Continuously being negative and belittling of yourself (even if it is all kept to your inner thoughts) is not going to motivate you to take action or make change.  I feel like the pot calling the kettle black because lately I’ve been really negative with myself. As I write this, I know that I am going to be working on this aspect through the holiday season in particular.

In 11 months I have discovered how much my body loves to be active.  I have increased my activity to a pretty good place, and on a really good week I can have around 8-10 workouts in. This time last year I struggled with even wanting to take the stairs in my office building, and now I will have inner dialogue about why I should take the stairs when I’m incredibly sore from a workout class. To know that I went from a place to no working out- to a place of feeling off when I don’t get a workout in, makes me incredibly happy.

I’ve come a really long way in 11 months, and as of Monday I am officially down 49.4 pounds! I am so close to 50 that I can taste it.  Not only this, but I took measurements today and I am down 12 inches- ONE FULL FOOT – in my waist, 8 inches in my bust, 6 inches in my thighs, and 2 inches in my arms.  To me, I feel like I am NOT the same person as when I started this journey, and I don’t feel like I look the same either.  Not only am I smaller, but I am smiling and happier all around.

Below you will find some progress pictures because it’s been a while.  As we go into this holiday season, don’t forget where you started and remember to love yourself and be kind if you eat more that you anticipated or missed a work out or two. In the grand scheme of things, its just one day or a week, and this is a lifelong journey, not a short term solution!

Please let me know if you have any comments or thoughts! thanks 🙂 – Kassi

progress 1

Jan- 245 pounds, Nov. 195.6 pounds

progress 2

May, 218 pounds, Aug 204 pounds, Nov 195 pounds

progress 3 So close to 50

So close to 50!!!!